Monday 14 July 2008

rindu di mana-mana

i am currently in IPBA, but i am going back to Penang at 3pm today. i am content here, to be with my friends again, but bile derang g klas..i feel alone. its like back in uk, where i am going to be alone in my room. (my housemates mmg la ade..). its nearly 3 weeks since i balek msia, i almost forgot that i have to face my normal life kat uk nnt. ntahlah,mcm ade something missing. and i think my spirit dah tak sekuat dulu. if thats the case, i hope it is not permanent. yeah, talking bout the title of the post..even i skang neh kat ipba pon, and bebudak neh depan mate, i miss em already. mlm kang i sampai umah, and i get to see my family pon, i miss them more than ever. i miss bebudak nakal kat uk tuh jgak. i think maybe balek uk weekend neh, i will have to start from scratch. everything needs to be restructured. hurm..people reading this, hope u know that i dont live in denial, its just that sometimes i rase nak tell something to arwah abah. so i write it down. he's been my pembace blog yg paling setia. here it is...
dear abah,
i am sorry i didnt cuci umah, like we always do. but i did pegi kuar ngan bangmet g beli barang2 nk cuci umah. i just mop je lantai dapur and porch. toilet pon tak sental abes2 mcm dulu. mule mmg ingat nk cuci umah, tapi bile abah takde..mcm hilang feel. arituh mase kuar ngan kakmam g sunway carnival, i am so afraid to look around. i am afraid that i might catch a glimpse of you. we did walk into parkson, lalu kat renoma, ur fav place. i feel like crying at that time, but i tahan. buat2 bodoh..haha. ntahlah abah, sometimes i hope this is only a dream. i hope someday i wil wake up from a long sleep and find everything back to what it used to be.
takpelah. we have nothing to regret. coz u get to be with ur loved ones sampai ur last moment. sume owang iring abah smpy kubur. its just me yg takde. nk bt camne, anak yg satu neh jauh. tapi saye redha. because i get to tell u how much u mean to me, i get the chance to say that i love u many times. and i am glad that my fathers day card reach you, one day before you go. saye tak terkilan abah takde tinggal pesan for me, coz i believe you have faith in me. and you know i can go through this hard times. anak abah neh dah besar.. :)

ps: love you!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

nk jd setabah hg..

Anonymous said...

aku mungkin x setabah ang tam..
kulit mungkin sama tapi ketabahan ang wat aku bangga punya kawan cam ang..
rindu pada selimut yg di rampas..

Breathing.In.Luxembourg said...

mcm nk nangis bace:(
aku pun x stabah ko
keep on being strong tiku:)

Anonymous said...

tiku..be strong.ko ade ktorg.huu..sebaknye baca blog nih..huhu.

zatiMJ said...

ya be strong. nnti balek UK aku msk sdap2 wat ko. hee

Alice said...

i mishh you too,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,0,11,12,13,14,15....busyuk!!~

Anonymous said...

salam..mcm nie la shbtku awatf..ermm berdoa slalu,jgn tggl slat n berigt sntiasa ok!!jgn lpe hapykn dri mcm dsini ok!!amlkan snaman yg frd ajar kt awtf tu ye!!hehehe ajk kwn yeeeee!!jge dri..good gurlllll :)

alia amirah said...

:) ur abah gonna be so proud of u.

merrymur said...

watipp,sory ak x gtau hang awal2 yg aku nak letak ur blog on my page.boleh ek? leh update psl hang.watip is always a strong girl.k,take care!

Anonymous said...

Dear Tiku,
u've made me cry reading this one. yup2...reading through this writing of yours somehow have made me think that it is important to tell and express our love to our loved ones every now and then. I'm very certain that ur late abah would have thought of u... every single minute and second...

Love,
Peminat RnB Wellington