Saturday, 30 August 2008

Happy Birthday, my guardian angel

31 august
the malaysians will be busy celebrating the independence day. i am busy remembering my sister's birthday. hehe. so, this is the first time i am away from her. away as far away. i called her last night, but she is pening. i talked to mak only. (haiya, ape kes time besday tido awal kan..if that is my birthday, i will wait for others to wish me..haha).

so, this is the story about my guardian angel.

born on the 31st august 1985, i like the way our birthday is just a twist of number. i was born on 13th of aug, and she is 31st of aug. yeah, forget about the date. i remember she said to me once, "one reason for us to be born on these date is so that you will be older than me,". fine2.. i dont mind being older in date-wise, not in reality. haha. this girl is naturally good with kids and elderly. i just cant understand why kids love her. i mean, i love kids too, but they dont like me. isk. pathetic. when she is having a conversation with the veterans, one can tell that the older people love her. tak caye tanye tok. kakmam memang geng ngan 'tok and the gang'. she had problems with self-esteem before, but she work that out and her spirit prevails. i think she does not realize how much power she has, making her eligible for 'super-woman' title. hurm. maybe not physically. emotionally, she is strong. very strong. i wonder how she can read those thick books in the midst of my nephew. hurm. she got a first class on her project. she got A in bahasa Arab, the one she always get lower than B. i wonder how she did that.

it is such a pity that she has me as her little sister. i am always in a mess. always in unstable state of emotion. i think i will continue to be a pain in the ass for her. it is your luck, to have me. it is unfortunate, because you cannot alter that fact.

from my side of story, if i could ever change my happiness with her sorrow, i would. if i could trade in my laughter with her tears, i am more than willing to do so. she is the kind of person that will put her needs behind, and prioritize mine. i could see this, even when she was just a child. when mak gave birth to Saddam..she will bought me something from school. everyday. she was just in lower primary. if i was in her place, i do not think i would do that.

if there is one thing i wanna tell her, it is this: "you never know how much you have inspired me with your spirit. you will never have an idea on how well you know me, and how easy it is for you to interpret me. even i cannot understand myself. you always have a way to straighten up my path when i am a mess. it is you who never fails to bring me up, at my lowest point in life. maybe i never say anything like this, but deep down inside, you are the air that i breathe."

happy birthday, dear Guardian Angel.

dedicated to:
Aziatul Akmam Atan @ Abdullah.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

maman and mama

mama: hello, kakmam ada?
mak: kakmam demam, neh maman bangun.
maman: hello...mama (suare ngantok)
mama: eh eh...abg maman nape bangun tido neh...?
maman: maman nk ckp ngan mama la..
mama: owh, ye ke. sorry, mama call mlm2. sian abg maman nk g skola besok. arituh g umah ayah tolong ayah tak?
maman: tolong.
mama: abg maman tolong buat ape?
maman: abg maman tolong....erm...tolong....tolong buat tak tahu.
mama: hah? tolong buat tak tahu?!!

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

aku tanak GEMOK!!!

i miss ...

...jogging kat um ngan bebudak pismp tuh, though kene tipu.
...prektis kagum sampai baju ber'garam'
...prektis band, and kene denda plus pumping...i want my muscular arms back!!

tapi sume salah aku la. makan chocolate tak ingat dunia. sape yg jahat sangat cipta chocolate neh??nape la aku jadik a sweet-tooth person. isk. nape ade cream tea.

used to skinny solid
...argh..everything pon dulu

since i believe that i am a determined person (suke ati aku la nk kate aku neh hape), i will work on it. i believe in the power of mind, as long as i believe i can, i will make it.

Sunday, 24 August 2008

fine2...tagged pon tagged lah..

5 things you dont know about me,

1. tiku malas nk layan mende2 tagged neh, and buletin2 kat fster. but since this is from my high school friend..(aku syg gle kawan2 stf aku), so tiku pon layan la...
psst: budak kecik, aleisa, jgn marah ah...

2. tidak mampu bercinta at the moment. kenape? aku pon tatawu nk jawab.

3. terlalu particular, and an overthinker. i want every single thing in order, (which is not possible). lets say, i sleep at 12, and wakes up at 8...i want to follow the time strictly. no excuse. thats is. sinki and toilet rim must be dry all the time, lantai shower kene kering all the time. everytime mandi, bathroom mat must be a dry one. isk. nak list kang tak abes.
tapi since takde ubat utk penyakit neh, ubatnyer ialah 'sendri mau ingat la'.

4. kaki bergayut. i think this is called addiction. i suke sgt bergayut ngan owang kat msia smpy bill boleh sampai beratus2 pound. but now da tak. saye dah bertaubat.

5. adidas or mng? definitely adidas.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

birthday wishes

ironically, this is not a birthday wish for me, but dedicated to the people who made me the person i am...

To Mak,
i thank you ever so much for the pain youve been going through giving birth to me, bringing me up, and stand my turbulance. i adore every quality in you, which amazes me every second i think about you. you're a great role model. you're the greates mum, and yet youre a cool friend. how i wish i could spend birthday with you, but never mind. i am here for you anyway.

To Arwah Abah,
lately i realise that i possess your quality. things i have done in these past few days made me think of you, because that is just the thing that you would do. and that made me happy, coz i know you live inside me. i pray for you in every Du'a. i thank God for giving me you, to give me chance to spend 20 years in your love. i thank Him for giving me enough time to express my love to you. :)

to Kakmam and Kakmelia,
though you always consider me as kakak (to make me look older, but you ARE OLDER than me anyway), i am still in need of your guidance. i like the way we merepek, and the way you listen to me,(and then make fool of me). Kakmam, you set the path of following your own dreams. of never be afraid to study such a THICK book. youve made it now. Kakmelia, the one yg kuat merapu, you bring colours (coz u talk nonsense...haha). you bring 2 rascals into our life. two rascals that brighten up our days, and sometimes drive us up the wall.

to Bangmet and Saddam,
the two men in the house. it is you that we hold on to after abah. Bangmet, i am still amaze of the way you handle money. and i still wonder, would i be able to do that. Saddam, you proved that you are no joke. remember arwah abah's expression when you handed him your result?

to Maman, and Imran
iim, sorry i didnt send you cards (yours will be in Nov). though you dont know how to read yet, but you will read this someday. i apologize for scolding you and stuff (but sometimes you drive me mad..)how dull my day would be without the two of you. maman, next two years, we will be celebrating our birthdays together, and i will organize it for us. ive done that before, trust me. go on and ask maktok. and for iim, ill send you another cards next. (and no, you dont have to change your name to 'Aiman', to own maman's card. ill send one, with your name in front of it.

to friends, (and foe?), nah, kidding...
i apologize for my wrongdoings. i apoligize for every single thing, even the slightest mistake. i cannot turn back the time, and as human, i make lots of mistakes. countless of em. and i am glad to have you, or else i wont be the person i am now.

to housemates (Hana, Nad, Zati)...
gosh! how cudnt i sense the pre-birthday party? how can i not know that IT IS MY SWEATER. it is lovely, and i cant take it off. thanks, for being there. esp thru my hard times. mean it.

hurm..we're worlds apart now. but i didnt say my slogan this time. u said that for me.thanks. i dont have the words to desribe how i miss the three of you. kalau la ade pintu doraemon...

to my CATS...
how can i live without cats? i wont be me!! beetho..balek umah, wish mama!!!

lots of love,
awatif adilah atan

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

banyak sbnanyer nk tules

tapi tiku malas. nk tules pasal....everytin. tapi tiku malas. that is. da~

Friday, 8 August 2008


i dont wanna talk to anyone. i dont wanna meet anyone. leave me alone. (seb baek aku takleh swear!)

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

new page! yeay!!!

tiku bute it? hehehehe...bute ke...rabun je kot. i said i want to re-design my blog coz i am sick of the-plain-blue-blog-layout. so this is just trial (or not). sadly, i am not in the mood to write anything now. i am all about money now...HAHAHAH (devilish laugh). what is in m mind now? i nak upload all my fav songs in my imeem and spend hours listening to em. coz every now and then, a song pop up and i was like 'yeah, that was something that i listened to few years back'. music-wise, i am into anything jazzy like buble..(love him!), salsa..marc anthony eh? not forgetting pramlee. omg. he's damn great. like to laugh my heart out tgk pramlee kat youtube ngan mira. and then we like to practice it. haha. hurm. takde mende nk tules la. siyes blank. ok..nntla ek. da~