do you need a bag?

i thought i love this earth. i thought i have been a good person. i think i havent been a good one. not yet. i realized most people bring their own bag to shop. and usually, the cashier will ask, "do you need a bag?" i think that question is weird. at first. not until i went to marks n spencer food. i bought the bag, because its MnS. back in malaysia, MnS are expensive. people look at people bringing or wearing MnS with envy. that was before. then, i went to asda td. and i bought this asda bag. it is stated on the bag, "i do not cost the world". something just click. yeah, i have been using plastic bag, which is chemical. why dont i use my own bag before this..to carry my stuff. wouldnt that be handy, or fruitful. for i wont need to use plastic bag. and that will reduce litter. hurm.. since that, ive been carrying my own bag, and reuse it as many times as i can, to help this earth. i love my earth. i love our earth. "do you need a bag?" "no, thanks, ill use my bag.."

line dancing

2326, nearly one hour past my bedtime. i admit i am tired and my legs are killing me. dancing for few hours, in heels. mmgla saket. but that isnt the thing, coz i enjoyed myself. now i realize two facts about myself. (told ya, im here to get to know myself). one thing that put a smile on my face is when i am dancing. second, i feel good when im sweating. like play games, jog, and sweat all over. gosh, i miss that feeling. and i miss tasha too. my partner in crime.no, i mean in sports. hurm. back to line dancing... its not awkward if i start to listen to country, waltz. at first i saw the advertisement about this nearly a week ago, and i almost forgot. i dont think many people will go, but i remember kak sal and kak linda pesan, grab the opportunity to mix with the locals. and thats what im doing. i just wanna know how it's like here. i learn a thing or two like the dancing floor etiquette. yes, i enjoyed myself tonight. and i meet people, mix with them, talk to them, dance with them. it's a nice feeling for me.. i feel quite okay now. im in the mood for buble again. and i started to sing, and listen to songs. i couldnt write much, for im very tired. need to perform isya', and then ill go to bed straightaway. :)

a reason behind everything.

abah..heart problem, tok..kencing manis..im far from home. how worse can it be? i would say im facing hard time to deal with this. its really hard, trying to live my life here, while my mind is thinking about them. there's not a single moment i am not worried. i wont write in detail coz im afraid this will make me cry. Allah puts you in troubled water not to drown you, but to cleanse you. i take this as some test from Him, to test my patience, to keep me close to Him. and as a reminder, that i am just a slave of Allah. i have no idea how long i will stay calm, i just pray that He will be by myside. Amin.

abah

arineh cam blank and miserable. mayb sbab i found out abah was submitted to hosp smalam. guess age is taking toll on abah now.

born on april 9, 1945 in jb. im proud of my abah, for a loving and supporting abah he's been. thats y i wrote a short story on abah on my school's mag.. "azimat ayah". i know abah love that..always wanting me to write more. insyaAllah, ill write again.
he's the man that i love, for his taste in clothing, for his 'abnormal tidiness'. just look at the way abah lipat kaen. 'bertulang'. no one can iron baju the way abah does. sometimes when a cloth is too complicated for me to iron, ill ask for abah's help. kemas gile sampai tak brani nak duduk klu pakai bj yang abah iron. "air tuh..jgn letak tepi sgt, karang tertepis" "plug iron da cabut blom?" balek kaje..abah's fav phrase.. "halo mam, halo dilah". but most of the time he will start with "halo mam" coz kakman is the only one yang ade kat umah.
i still remember mase mak operation. i saw abah cried. yes, he's sentimental.
i know buble thru abah jgak. i hum to ''sway"'s tune, and abah completed the whole song. he'll sing to his oldies sometimes at home. he brought my ipod to work. i wish i can buy him a phone.
trip to shopping mall, its not hard to look for abah. he will stroll along renoma, (abah, have u got ur renoma baju yg abah minat sgt arituh? wink!)
mase tamtam mati, abah bz cari kuceng. and when kak farah told us about kuceng kat poliklinik azhar tuh, abah took me straightaway to that place. (but i didnt adopt the cat..die da besar, i want a kitten).

i dont want anything now, i just want abah to be healthy and happy. tp i cannot do anything for i am far from home. therefore i cannot give him anything, just du'a. aku akan sentiasa mendoakan kesihatan abah... abah, forgive me for my wrongdoings slame neh. words are not enough to thank you for all your effort to put me in my place i am now. i have one slid reason to do my best here, to take care of myself, that is to make you proud. in a way to thank you. i love you, abah.

i feel warm when i shiver

sorry if this post didnt sound merry, but thats what i am thinking now. this land is totally new to me, i know nothing about it. i have no idea at all. that means i start from zero. i come here with memories, that will stay as memories. i am here, to look for myself, which i am not able to track in my lovely country. i come here with no regrets, coz i have clear everything before i depart. i have found answers to my questions, i only have one left. which i think wouldnt be answered. i shiver in the cold, i feel warm. i shiver when then wind blows, i found serenity. my fingers ache in the cold night, i tighten my grip. yes, i am content, starting anew. it is something that i want to do..for so long. despite of the loneliness...i found peace. alhamdulillah.

Dartmoor and Tavistock

Pixie! huhu..im afraid of pixie. sbab they're like leprechauns.. some ppl love leprechauns for their gold coin that brings luck. but as far as i can remember, they frightens me. mase kecik2 dlu i watched this one movie, starring jennifer aniston. and that was few years back, cant barely remember anythin. hurm..so, the movie was about that leprechauns seeking for those who stole his coins. but the way he looked. eerie. i takot. erm. what makes me talk about leprechauns? owh, pixie. i found this pixie bracelet kat Princetown td. visit that tourist centre, ade something about Sherlock Holmes.. The Hounds of the Baskerville, anyone? yeah. Holmes wrote that mase die kat cnih..according to Sarah. looks like i need to look for this book and read it. :) td ktrg g Dartmoor, the National Park..mmg saujana mata memandang. heh. and Tavistock. owh,i bought a blue poney kat Pannier Market (btol ke name die?). not a real one, but it's a money bank. cute! and that should remind me to spend money wisely. but that poney was a bit expensive la. about 8 sometin. being here tringat cite the 10th Kingdom. i hope i can explain why but im not good with words. come here and see. Yeah i like 10th Kingdom, Stardust..and movies yg sewaktu dengannya. not forgetting The Chronicles of Narnia. .. nothin to talk about sbab..sbab? ntah i cant answer that. my mind is wandering around. da~

the story of omelette

we're just young and curious. so we're excited to go and try the famous omelette at the cafe rendez-vous. each ordered one omelette and we shared hot choclate, which made the menu : 4 omelettes and 2 hot chocs. wah.. excited nk makan omelette ah neh. hmph. few minutes later, we got our orders. omelette with mushroom, cheddar cheese.. izzati took onion, i took tomatoes and both nad and hana took prawns. it turned out to be the size of the famous omelette is too big for our apetite. none of us can finish that. so we tapaw. and we didnt eat anythin till we went to town to watch 'dreadlock..somethin' at the barbican theatre. everythin was fine till we were in the taxi home. at first i thought i was the only one experiencing dizziness. once we got into our house, rupenyer everyone was feelin d same. hehe. sume da x larat bangun.. i feel seriously ill. feel like vomitting. i cant even think of omelette. isk. it was big and thick..i wonder how many eggs they put in one omelette. i dont think anyone of us would want to eat omelette again..not until 4 to 5 months. isk. then i lay down, tros ttdo. cant wake up to have dinner pown. berpusing abes. hehe. maybe this is a lesson for us to try anytin in small amount first then proceed..rather than to waste the money. this brought me back to welcome lunch at the private dining room on the second day of our arrival. the orange juice on that table was inviting. seriously. and some of us fill the juice in our glass till maximum, not realizing it was bitter. maybe derang blend kulit die sket kowt. haha. finally everyone ended up minum air kosong jgak. hehe. anotha lesson. :) so, btw, the barbican theatre td was alrite. it was somethin new to me, but i dont fancy it that much. hey, no offence eh. maybe my version of 'theatre' is somethin like a play on the stage. so this contemporary theatre + rap + poetry recital was somethin that i am not accustom to. who knows i might like it sometym.. well i think the barbican theatre is a place to hang out once in a while. heh. lookin forward to theatre. its past m bedtym now. guess i shud be sleeping. gnite!

february12, 2008

(february 12, 2008.
7.05am. )
salam and gud morning! :) finally i wake up at 7 somethin today. i really hope i can adapt quickly so that i can explore this beautiful small city of Plymouth. We went to ASDA yesterday, and it was cool. the weather was cool, and the prices were okay..but we didnt buy many things coz we're afraid we wud ovaspend. yelah, teruja lah katakan. but the shopping took quite sometym coz we need to read every ingredient. during the shopping, i was very dizzy..sbab tak tdo. it was 12 sumtin kat msia, and i have to tahan mate smpy at least 10pm kat sineh,which means.. (10+8..6am msia?)bertahan! before that, we went for Plymouth tour. jalan2 cr pasal. it's not a big town, lebey kurang cam teluk intan jer, kate nad. but owangnye bwak keta, mmg mcm abah. klu abah drive here, mesti die sonok. but of course bukan mak. sbab i dont think mak bleh drift kat sini..hehe. mak, jgn marah ah... yeah, we went to the seashore, ade umah api and stuff. huhu..sronok. coz i really like the sea. cantik! sangat cantek..it's my thing. we had ice cream, though it's very cold. the sun was shining, but we shivered. because of the wind. tony said we bring in the sun..hehe..oh ya..good thing about lunch at Private Dining Room smlm, we were served with healthy food. all vegetables..plus rice. and sliced fruits. sume jd kambing. haha. takpe2.. makan je lah. takde choice kan. :) thanks to seniors, who made us omnivore again. dptla mkn ayam kat house 31 smlm..and the pizza was nice. kak ayuni, i really thought u made that, igt nak mintak resepi. g dinner was like going for sahur. seb baek takde yg tsengguk2 makan. siyes ngantok. hehe. my housemates were the first ones to arrive at that house, sbab ktrg lapar.sorry coz i am going backwards, coz im tryin to recall the events while havin breakfast. hurm, 9.30 am, we gathered in front of fayadh's house, which is house 35. huh. ckp kuar asap.. pastuh g room 157 for welcome speech with steve, tony..nora, cate, kathy, and of course sarah. mcm br masuk skola. pastuh we need to wear nametags to help em remember ournames. hurm...rindula. rindu evrything kat msia. the only tym i feel warm is mase mandi.. itu pon ble da step out of d bathtub, syejok balek. takpe2..insyaAllah i will adapt soon. ktrg smayang merate2..tp slalunyer dlm bas. and i will have to bring the takwim that the seniors gave everywhere. sbab tak reti nak predict waktu smayang. and to seniors.. thanks a bunch. thanks for guiding us through this..it feels like home. :)