lets stop using the egocentric word 'i' shall we. at least lets try. here goes.
people say, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. well, you have to get to the end to confirm the saying. During the process of finding that answer, one needs to experience the 'tunnel'. They will know how smelly the tunnel is, the coldness that lies in it, etc. Same goes with growing up. I thought (whoopsy, i use the word 'i')... that growing up is easy. Study, graduate, work, have family and tada....you live happily ever after. Well, that is not the case. Being an adult carries huge responsibility to the people around you. Being selfish is not in the option, but sometimes we just cant help it. Or..maybe we are just too greedy to fulfill our desire, so eager that it blinds us. Owh, am i a thinker? am i? am i not? forget the answer. not important to me. I was always sure of my future when i was a child. I saw myself as a vet, having my own clinic, living life the way i want - peaceful and smooth. Dear...that is not how it turns out to be. I am going to be a teacher in two years time, InsyaAllah. and how about that passion with animals? it is still there, just without the qualification of being a vet.
I asked permission from my brother to go back, since mak is going to pilgrimage. And he replied "No, dont come back. Mak didnt agree. Save the money for the future". You see, my brother's word is law. I mean...im sure he must have given it a thought. I respect him, so there it goes.... i am staying with my heart about to burst missing mak, and go to bed sobbing like a child. I
The word 'future' struck me. "yeah, maybe people who went overseas are more mature coz they move on" - Lesley Woodhead. Aha. Future...Future. (Fairtrade's slogan - growing better future for coffee). What do i want? I do have some sort of poorly drafted plan but maybe i will need to lay it down carefully. Come on, who wants to help put up their hands! For now, lets just strive to be the best muslim, and focus on dissertation, alright love?
It has been quite sometime since i write a post this way. Coz ive been thinking about stuffs that it messed my mind. But then again, didnt i believe in Allah's promises? That He hears every prayer, that He is near to me that the jugular vein? Therefore i feel calm now. Ya Allah, forgive me for my sins. Help me to be your faithful servant, and dont blind me with the wealth in this world. Guide me to live this life, the blessed way. "You alone do we worship and You alone do we turn for help".
To kucings that i met at Turki, to the little child that suddenly give me a hug. I miss you.
Assalamualaikum, take care coz i care. wah?
people say, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. well, you have to get to the end to confirm the saying. During the process of finding that answer, one needs to experience the 'tunnel'. They will know how smelly the tunnel is, the coldness that lies in it, etc. Same goes with growing up. I thought (whoopsy, i use the word 'i')... that growing up is easy. Study, graduate, work, have family and tada....you live happily ever after. Well, that is not the case. Being an adult carries huge responsibility to the people around you. Being selfish is not in the option, but sometimes we just cant help it. Or..maybe we are just too greedy to fulfill our desire, so eager that it blinds us. Owh, am i a thinker? am i? am i not? forget the answer. not important to me. I was always sure of my future when i was a child. I saw myself as a vet, having my own clinic, living life the way i want - peaceful and smooth. Dear...that is not how it turns out to be. I am going to be a teacher in two years time, InsyaAllah. and how about that passion with animals? it is still there, just without the qualification of being a vet.
I asked permission from my brother to go back, since mak is going to pilgrimage. And he replied "No, dont come back. Mak didnt agree. Save the money for the future". You see, my brother's word is law. I mean...im sure he must have given it a thought. I respect him, so there it goes.... i am staying with my heart about to burst missing mak, and go to bed sobbing like a child. I
The word 'future' struck me. "yeah, maybe people who went overseas are more mature coz they move on" - Lesley Woodhead. Aha. Future...Future. (Fairtrade's slogan - growing better future for coffee). What do i want? I do have some sort of poorly drafted plan but maybe i will need to lay it down carefully. Come on, who wants to help put up their hands! For now, lets just strive to be the best muslim, and focus on dissertation, alright love?
It has been quite sometime since i write a post this way. Coz ive been thinking about stuffs that it messed my mind. But then again, didnt i believe in Allah's promises? That He hears every prayer, that He is near to me that the jugular vein? Therefore i feel calm now. Ya Allah, forgive me for my sins. Help me to be your faithful servant, and dont blind me with the wealth in this world. Guide me to live this life, the blessed way. "You alone do we worship and You alone do we turn for help".
To kucings that i met at Turki, to the little child that suddenly give me a hug. I miss you.
Assalamualaikum, take care coz i care. wah?
1 comments:
U use quite a LOT of 'I' in there. hahaha. Mission failed! Mission failed!
Hee, sabar Awatif. Meh, sini dtg bilik I kasi u Hug big big one okay?
Post a Comment