aku nk balek

Tawu kenape? sbab aku nk balek la weyh. aku dah tak larat dok jauh dr umah. tak nak dah. dah tak larat. siyes. gedik ke tak eh. ntah. aku pon tatawu. 2 ari lepas, mase balek keja. ntah ttbe aku teringat kakmam. wah. sambil jalan balek keje, nk g Derriford Hospital kat zati, ae mate dah merembes. Isk. Aku NAK BALEK LA!!!

Ha, ini die my guardian angel. (yang tengah).wah. tgk aku dah nanges plak. nk period kot eh? Makhluk neh name die Aziatul Akmam Atan @ Abdullah. aku tatawu la die akan bace post neh ke tak. every post in blog neh, aku tak sure family aku bace ke tak...sbab umah ktrg takde internet. Kakmam,Bangmet, surf kat office, Saddam surf kat cc, mak..? erm..tatawu. Mak ckp kat skola die ade internet. so, aku tatawu la. Oleh itu, aku akan berusaha tules blog dengan lebih 'melayu'.
Berbalek kpd cerita kakmam neh, die neh slalu gossip ngan aku. Klu aku call, ttbe die nyer nada jd agak soft(tanak kasik owang dengar), pastuh ttbe cam ade termasuk nada nk meyakinkan aku atas cerita die tuh...ade la cite yg nak disampaikan. She is 2 years older, and that makes us quite close. Aku takkan penah ngaku aku syg die, tp dlm hati...Tuhan je yg tawu. I would definitely exchange my life for her happiness. Tgk...nanges balek. aku dah agak dah, aku neh homesick. Klu kat umah, aku suke hati je bantai maen pakai baju die. Baju die dah la lawa2...pastuh aku pakai kadg2 smpy rosak lah...baju laen turun kaler la, koyak la...sume kerosakan aku bt. Tp smpu skarang pon, die tak penah larang aku pakai baju die. Ade one time neh, aku demam. Mak kat KL kot. yg ade, arwah abah, kakmam and saddam. Kene pulak, aku demam yg teruk. 3 4 hari jugak la. Abes kakmam la yg bt sume. Masak, kasik aku makan, jelum kepala ngan aie asam jawa, bagi mandi...layan sume kemerepekan aku yg melampau. Kan bile kite saket kan asek nk merengek, pastuh cepat marah. Yelah, sbab tak selesa saket la kan. Ha, jgn nk tipu ko tatawu camne rase demam. Cepuk kang. Mase aku duduk asrama, everytime balek, kakmam mesti at least ade la skali...akan shampoo rambut aku. aku pulak memang ngade bile kakmam ade. Ttbe malas. ttbe nk owang siapkan baju, klu aku nk kuar. Dahla mintak siapkan baju, mintak die ironkan la, itulah. sume. Baju plak, sume baju die. Kalu kuar ngan minah neh, aku mmg tak risau. Duet? Beres. Takde la bawak banyak pon. tp kuar ngan die ttbe jadi mampu. Aku konon slame neh independent, skali klu ade ngan kakmam, ttbe sume mende aku tak reti nk buat. haiya. ape la die rase, ade adek ngade cam neh.
This is my favourite story ever:
I was on my way back from skola agama, when i saw this pink guava tree. Mmg buah tengah ranum. Masalahnye, pokok tuh tepi jalan. segan la kan aku nk panjat walaupun zaman tuh aku konon rock. Pastuh aku balek la, smbil pk care nk amek buah jambu tuh. Then, smpy umah, kakmam ade. Aku ckp ngan die:
Dilah: Weyh, jom p Birthday kawan aku
Kakmam: Ha, sat2, aku siap. (aku agak die neh mmg jenis suke g Birthday)
Dilah: La, takyah la pakai lawa2. Birthday ja pon.
(Bongok. nk g birthday, takkan tak pakai lawa2)
We both cycled to 'the Birthday Party'.
Sesampainya kami di pokok jambu yg dimaksudkan...
Dilah: Weyh, sbnaqnya, takdak pon Birthday...aku nk buah jambu tuh.
Kakmam: Ha? (Dengan tidak berkata apa2...turun dr basikal dan memanjat pokok jambu)
Dilah: (Dalam hati...) YES. Dapat buah Jambu. pandai jugak aku neh.
Once we talked about this, i asked her... "Hang rs nk tumbuk aku dak time tuh?" and she answered.." Nak tumbuk jugak la, tp nk buat camna..dah ank teringin nk buah jambu". :)

I called her the Guardian Angel, sbab die la yg jage segala menda alah kat umah. Mase abah saket, die tolong jage. Sbab mak pon skolah, so die kene la tolong kan. Time tuh condition kat umah mmg agak kucar kacir. Sbab emosi sume pon fragile. Time tuh, aku mmg takde tempat nk bergantung selain kat die neh. Being in her position, i think it is the hardest. Coz she got her own life to handle...working in audit firm and study. She needs to juggle her time between her life and family's. She needs to conceal her emotion, and put others first. At that time, sume yg die rase...die simpan. Sbab die kene makesure she doesnt look worried, or else, mak will worry, and tok. and abah will worry too. To make it worse, i was such a crybaby at that time. Whenever i called, of course i will ask about the condition there. Dah la aku yg tanyer. pastuh aku nanges. Klu jadik kakmam...pening. Yg aku kat sini fragile..sume pon fragile. I imagine her being the brightest star in the sky while the worlds below is getting dark. I imagine her being the thread that holds pieces that hangs from a cliff. The tense lie in the thread, and if that thread fails to hold the pieces...they will all fall down.

Dahla weyh. Aku tanak tules lagi. Penat nanges beb. ngantok. Kang aku nk tunggu kakmam message...sbab nnt aku nk call umah. And ktrg nk gayut.! yeeha!

Love,
Dilah tak mature.

psst: Gamba kat atas tuh, ialah Kak Fadz and Kak Farah. A special thanks to my sister's close friends yg tolong jagekan kakak saye tuh. Sbab sy bukan a good listener. Time kaseh tolong happykan kakak saye mase die down. Sy tak mampu happy kan die, sbab sy hanya mampu buat kacau!

tidy..untidy?

dear, i have things to do..really, but i think this is worth sharing.

As always, when i finish work, ill work to Derriford to wait for Zati. I have a copy of The Times newspaper with me (almost) everyday. I can live without tv, but not newspaper. Well today, i think something is really funny.
A man came home, finding his home been ransacked. He called the police straightaway, telling them that he was sure the thieves had taken several items including his chequebooks. Later, he called to apologise because its not a burglary. His house was just untidy.
(klu aje jadik polis...aku dtg tangkap die sbab die bengong)

The debate about tidy or untidy has been up for a long time, agree? At times i can be as tidy as a person having obsessive compulsive disorder, but at times i can be untidy like hell.

Tidy person: clears away everything. They wanna everything look neat and nice, cause itll be easier to find it later.
Untidy person: " I left my shoes at the door, so itll be easier to find it tomorrow when i wanna use it. "
Me: Both acceptable. i would say, the best thing is moderation in everything.
Enough bout tidy and untidy, how bout smelly or owh-smell-so-nice.

I was swimming last week, and this makcik guard's body lotion smell so strong. It was a nice small though. Few times i stopped swimming near to the place she sat, cause it smells nice. Now, being trapped in a closed space with smelly person, would you be able to control your expression? Yeah, of course you should, but what if u cant? Poor u, and poor that 'smelly person'. You dont wanna hurt that person, but does that person realize the 'smell'?

Some of us might have a dilemma having this-kinda-problem, either own body odour (BO), or maybe its just the clothes. So, how do we tell? (I am not handling a counselling session here, just thinking this might happen in our everyday lives). Hurm...i would say, for a person close to 'that person', let them know. They may not realize they have been using the same clothes for days. Or, they dont realize the smell. I would go and tell, cause i dont want people to avoid my friends or people complaining about them. However, i think it depends on ourselves really. It is up to us to be responsible, which is to check. Check here means:

Check whether we have used that clothes more than once.
Check whether we have bad breathe (listerine and mint helps!)
Check the clothes we washed is not left more than 24 hours in the bucket.

Owh..gtg. Wanna do some serious works.

Wanna know who's that funny man i mentioned above?
Google Shola Ameobi.

ini drpd Siti busyuk

si kecik yg slalu teman aku naek ketapi...siti. slalu kasik aku menumpang kat cabin die, sbab aku lemas dok dlm cabin atas. sempit. sejuk. takpe siti, nnt aku akan amek cabin bwh, berdepan ngan ko. ajak line skali. wah...bleh borak smpy lebam. hehe. cepatla balek msia weyh. rindu!

My 35 Secrets (eleh...tadela secret mane pon...)

1.Who was your last text from?
Lloyds TSB?

2. Where was your default picture taken?
In my room

3. Your relationship status?
Single mingle

4. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yeah. Rs mcm nk cr, but i think itll be weird since our path differ. So, ill just let it be memories.

5. What is your current mood?
Blur...dan sedikit berbunga2

6. What's your sister's name?
Amelia- die neh suke merepek cam sy. Kepala kami sama2 gila. Kdg dia lg gila dr sy, kdg2 sy rs sy lagi gila dr dia. Anak2 dia pon kuat merapu cam dia.
Aziatul Akmam - dia neh lembut sket. tp smangat dia kuat. Die penah gemok...tp now die slim cam hape je. Ceh. Stress. Tp die suke shopping. Sy pon suka shopping ngan dia sbb nnt sy bleh guna duet dia.

7. What's your favorite color(s)?
None other than blue, but currently considering pink and yellow as nice!

8. With whom do you wish you were right now?
Imran and Aiman. Mama rindu sama kamu.

9. Have a crazy side?
Definitely yes. Bila gila ku dtg...mmg merapu. Paling suka escape kelas. Teman escape kelas time skola: Aidzeera Ahmad. Kat IPBA: Nadhirah Azman. Kami suka ttba kuar lecture, naek bas depan Amjal, pegi makan eskrem McD. tp now, sy tak makan McD. Boycott!!

10. Ever had a near death experience?
Yeah. few weeks ago. we on the way back from Bath. We went to see 'Torpoint ferry, sbab igtkan die mcm ferry kat Penang. Never realize that we are too close to the sea.Luckily Zati continue tekan minyak. i, was munching sandwich at that time, skipped a heartbeat and lost the appetite. Siyes breathless. It was too close to death. Alhamdulillah, selamat.

11. Something you do a lot?
Merepek. lagi2 klu ade geng. Masyuk... Klu ade Amira: berangan. Amira start...sy smbung smpy takleh stop. :)

12. Angry at anyone?
Nope. Takde sebab nk marah kot. Tp aku cepat marah. now neh je dah slow sket...maklumla, dah berumur...

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
Err...klu suke aku g bgtau. Stakat neh sume owang yg aku suke tawu aku suke die. Btpe simpan2...at least aku tawu die suke aku ke tak. Klu tak suke..aku go on aje. Abeh cita.

14. When was the last time you cried?
Baru td. hari2 pon nanges.

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Of course my family.

16. Love your Boyfriend?
Nope.

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Hasnul..he disturbed my sleep, as always!

18. What are your favorite songs?
Ini sgt banyak. But i am currently listening to....err....no one. Aha. Raja Ema: Jejaka Idaman. and, Ibnor Reza. wah. retro.

19. What are you doing right now?
Jwb tag. japg nk siap g keje.

20. Who do you trust right now?
No one. Unit Trust pon aku tak Trust. Gawat...aduh pening.

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Subsidi senior. tenkiu kakak2...

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
yeah. Beetho. I kissed him everyday. He sleeps with me. and he'll bite me if i dont have Whiskas. gile ke hape ko neh beetho?

23. What is your lucky number?
13?owg ckp no neh tade ong. Tp aku tak caye.

24. Who are your friends that are closest to you?
All of em. Aku suke melepak memane aje, and bercerita apa2 aja. Of course i am not gonna nominate. Tanak ade yg terase.

25. Describe you in one word?
Easy-going. (haha...aku letak hyphen...bleh jd 1 word la kan?)

26. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope. Plan to...?

27. Who are you thinking of right now?
Jayne. My colleagues in Nuffield.

28. What should you be doing right now?
Get ready to work, and return library books.

29. If you could wish for something over a birthday cake right now what would it be?
Adidas stuffs definitely.

30. What did you hear now?
Suare Hana kat bilik sblah. 24 jam pon aku dengar suare die...kecuali time die tido, or aku tido.

31. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
Dorothee.

32. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
No one.Gile ke nk jerit kat aku. Tampar karang.

33. Do you act differently around the person you like?
Hurm. Kdg2 rs mcm ye, kdg2 mcm tak. but i think everyone acts accordingly..depends on the situation, right?

34. What is your natural hair color?
Black. I am asian.

35. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Owang yg sy br YM td. Die mmg suke merepek. Klu start borak, merepek smpy besok pon boleh.

what blogging means to me

Years gone by. its been... i dunno how many years ive been blogging now. when i look back at my writings over the years, i see changes. yup. the way i write. being a blogger doesnt mean i only write, i read too. Its just that lately, i was so lazy to write. well, i thought i was lazy to write. However, i recently, i dont think so. Cause i write in my diary, and journal. i write...almost everyday. sometimes, i could just got out from bed in the middle of the night, to look for my journal and write something. If u like to blog-hop, you will see a pattern. esp the blogs that u visit regularly...(i know some of u agree to this). There will be emo blogs, fashion blog, narcissistic ones.. and many more. So, i think i know why i dont have any idea to write now. Cause i hope to write something that is not related to me. i dont have the desire to, well...at least not for now. If i have problem with myself...i will talk to myself. i dont have to tell the world, do i? i feel it is not important anymore to tell others about whats happening in my life, cause it wont be interesting to anyone to read. i prefer to read now. i am a blog-reader. wah...no longer a blog writer.

Dear Gaza Dont You Cry, We Will Never Let You Die

"you can burn up our mosques,and our homes and our school, but our spirit will never die, we will not go down in Gaza tonight. "
"This is not a war, it is a massacre. Children saw the mutilated body of their parents...too ill to cry"
"We are not anti-semitic, nor are we anti-judaism. In fact, one of us today is a Jew."

amira: i swear that video moved many. My eyes are swollen now. heh. salah ko. Thanks anyway.

Gaza,Gaza,Gaza. Since i was a child, news about West Bank, Hamas, Fatah and Zion surrounded me. I honestly didnt pay attention to it at all. All i have in mind was..watch cerekarama, then fell asleep and arwah abah will change the channel to Dunia Jam 10, where suare Farid Ismet Amir would woke me up. (I hate him, cuz i wanna sleep!). I depend on abah for the politic issues and stuffs all around the world. Now he's not here anymore, i need to depend on myself for any news at all. That is why, i feel not at ease if i dont read at least some news everyday. Gaza, Gaza. How it opened my eyes when i saw the news while working at Royal Mail. Yeah, Israel fire Gaza. ok, so what. However, that night, i saw a mom who lost her son, tremble in sadness and helpless. I am moved by the fact that she doesnt care, though she was extremely sad. Coz her son died of Jihad. (Lets pray he died a martyr). We (more to i, actually) used to live in comfort and still, we whine. Just lately i like to put, or to be exact --> imagine we're in that situation. I would not promise i will stay strong or confident like now. Because that time, ure just helpless. A conversation with a friend goes...

"Do u know what they did mase Hitler? "
"Ape?"
"They would put u in a bus, drove u to a field, dug a ditch, line u up. Then, they would shoot everyone..one by one. Imagine, Hana..aku, Nad dah kene. and now ure hanging to a thread for your life."

I couldnt say whether i live in imagination lately. Coz i feel that our life will end, someday. It may be tomorrow, it may be next 100 years. For Palestinian now, they might see the last light of the day. The might catch the last view of their loved ones at the moment. Coz they will never know, whether they will be alive the next second. Allah. I wanna die with my firm belief in You.

There was a demonstration to free Gaza today. started at 1pm at the sundial, we marched all around the city centre. I was shy at first, coz this was my first time. nothing emotional though. However, when "Gaza, please dont cry...we will never let you die" roared, tears welled up my eyes. so as other fellow friends. I didnt think i was excited to joined this demonstration. But this is the answer to my prayers lately. I prayed for God to show me the way to help them. Everyone can do it, i mean financially, or in silence. But this is something to satisfy my hunger, to easy my feelings. We stopped in front of Marks and Spencers, one of the biggest funder for Israeli attacks. The leader (i wish i know his name), promoted everyone to boycott M&S products. yeah. Nothing interesting really. its just that when i was there, surrounded by the faces that assemble Palestinian's faces triggered my mind. I wonder how would they feel over there. I really wish more of my friends could join, but i respect their reasons though. who knows, their silent prayers is more powerful that me joining the demonstration. Dua is our weapons right? so fellow friends, we are one. And we can help this immoralised act, using intelligence. Peace.

ps: these are one of the posts for today, coz my blog has been abandoned for a long time. i feel comfortable spending time in silence now. Things sometimes can be too complicated. "Seek patience in pray".

hadiah untuk Amira (dan kawan2 pembaca...)

5 fakta tentang saya

Hobi: bukan membaca...spt yg slalu aku tules mase kecik2. sbnanyer aku suke 'ngeteh', meaning lepak smbil minum teh. isk. masyuk. satu family aku gile teh. smpy sepupu aku yg 4 taun tuh asek mintah ae teh aje. kene plak ngan roti bakar, letak butter time ujan. pergh. mmg faveret. kat umah mase arwah abah ade dlu, ae teh tak penah abes. mmg asek panas aje. skang neh at least pagi and malam la. klu lepak ngan mira...mmg bergelas2 teh kami minum. faveret: earl grey.. nnt aku bawak balek satu kotak besar ke msia. hadiah utk family2 aku yg gilekan teh.

sy suke duduk di kalangan owang2 yg tgh berborak. bukan nk join derang gossip sgt pon, saje suke dok ngan derang. mase kat IPBA, time hana, nora, siti borak...aku slalu dok kat tengah. pastuh ttdo. bukan ape, aku rs slamat bile ade owang keliling aku. sbab tuh aku tdo.

klu tgk wayang, cite hantu...aku akan mengambil jalan mudah dengan melelapkan mate. tp mmg slalu end up ngan tido. sblum aku nmpak pape, baek aku tdo. tp jgn la smpy tak ajak aku g tgk wayang. aku suke makan popcorn. cume dlm wayang cam best utk tdo.

birthday aku 13 august. asal masuk aje 1 haribulan 8, aku otomatik rase dah smpy bday aku. dr 1 hb, smpy la 31 hb...aku rs sume tuh bday aku. "i can feel august..its all about me..me...me!"

sangat tak tahan makan pedas sbab dlu2 aku ade tonsilitis(ini noun ke ape eh). and aku lambat diintroducekan ngan makanan pedas. smpy skarang, makan pedas sket je, mule la aku rs nk melompat naek bulan. pastuh saket perut 2 3 hari.

bonus:
tambahan untuk korang bace.
aku fussy. sangat fussy smpy aku pon penat dengan kefussy-an aku.
1. sape nk amek smarties atau m&ms yg aku tgh makan, silekan. but not biru. yg biru sile jangan makan. aku kumpul letak dlm bekas.
2. aku tido jgn kacau sbab aku sgt la senang terjage. sungguh light-sleeper. atau aku akan badmood bile aku terjage nnt.
3. sume mende berwarne biru nmpak cantik. smpy mostly baju aku kaler2 shade biru. now neh br beli kaler laen2 sket. itu pon kdg2 aku rs bersalah ngan kaler biru sbab aku tak amek die. sorry biru!
dah. sape tak tahan ngan kefussy-an aku, lantak la. aku yg fussy, bukan korang.
'hang pasaipa?'


5 perkara (di dunia) yang menakutkan saya
(xdpt la 5, 3 je bleh?)

ulat beluncas/slugs
aduh. aku rase nk lari selaju yg mampu. dan nk tanggal kasut, sbab geli takut slugs lekat kat kasut aku. or tanggal baju sbab takut sbnanyer ade ulat kat baju aku.

bile call family, tak angkat.
jantung aku bleh brenti berdenyut beb. aku bleh rs nk muntah, dan tbe2 takleh pk. (aku call umah almost hari2.)

gelap.tempat sempit.
aku akan panik dan ttbe takleh bernafas. pastuh aku akan amek lampu memane yg ade, dan letak kat hidung. isk. tak masuk akal. itu bukan oksigen, itu kan cahaye. hampeh tol.

these are my all-time favourite. takkan penah bosan dgr.
ve-kerna sayang,detik bersama,baby, izinkan.
micheal buble: sway (tanak yg pussycat dolls. sbab derang dah me'naked'kan lagu tuh dengan menyerlahkan keseksian lagu itu melalui suara derang and video klip. and they left nothing to imagination. kan bosan tuh??)
camelia&malique d'essential: sampai kapan. masyuk...
dygta: cintamu. siyes bleh dengar 24 jam sehari. starting die je pon buat jantung berdegup laju. sungguh tak pasal.
nsync: selfish, through heaven's eyes,

5 perkara yg selalu disebut
(this is ambiguous, is it a topic? or it should be idiolect?)
mampos tak layan
layann
bongok
topic: finance
topic: future

5 perkara yg amat bernilai(tangible artifacts)
*gambar pending

i cant live without this brooch. give by kakmam. i take it with me whenever i feel down, or i dont feel secure.

gamba k.a.m.i berempat. i carry that picture with me everywhere. aduh rindu.

the last picture of abah, (pictures not available)where we both laughed at kakmam. and that was the last picture i sent to him for his bday. aku tak sanggup tgk lagi skali,tp aku akan sentiase igt gamba tuh dengan clear nye...mungkin smpy aku takde nanti. klu la aku tawu kan, mesti aku dah amek video banyak2. tp Tuhan Maha Adil. Die amek abah, Die dekatkan aku ngan Die.

5 pertama kali dlm hidupku
pertama kali memalukan diri sendiri dengan menangis secara kuat di khalayak ramai:
that morning mak tgh layan pokok bunge die. ade la satu pokok neh yg ade mase2 die, akan ade ulat beluncas sebanyak 12 ekor. yeah, exactly 12 ekor everytime. i know mak nk kurangkan fobia aku,sbab tuh mak slalu introduce aku ngan ulat sikit2. pagi tuh, mak ajak aku tgk la. aku pon tgk la dr jauh. skali tuh, kakmam and bangmet dtg. camne ntah derang bangun awal arituh. die letak ulat tuh atas pagar umah. aku kat luar. aku tros nanges kuat2 sbab aku takut sgt. aku pk...aku takkan bleh lepas pagar tuh, sbab klu aku nk squeeze bdn masuk kat bukaan pagar tuh, takut ttbe ulat tuh bergerak, jatuh atas aku. dah la aku time tuh pakai bj tido, kawan2 saddam tgh lepak kat luar umah (napela budak2 neh pepagi dah melepak). aku mmg nanges trok. dah la letak smpy 2 ekor. ulat tuh plak besar ibu jari, kaler ijau. sifat ke'beluncas'an mmg terserlah. last2 mak yg amek ulat tuh letak kat pokok die balek. aku malu nk jumpe kawan2 saddam yg menyaksikan adegan tak best di pagi hari itu.

pertama kali rase malu ngan kawan2 mak:
lagi satu adegan nanges. kali neh tak memalukan sangat sebab aku tgh bersedey atas kematian kawan rapat aku di rumah, iaitu tamtam. die mati jatuh longkang. aku siyes sedey sbab aku dah takde kawan. time tuh plak tgh cuti before fly. aku mmg jenis takde kawan, aku pon kawan ngan kucing neh je la. 2 3 ari before die mati, die manje gle ngan aku. pagi tuh, mak panggil aku suh cam betul ke kucing dlm longkan tuh tamtam. and it was. aku trus angkat die dr longkang, tak gune sarung tangan pon. syg punyer pasal beb. empangan blom pecah. then, amek cangkul. korek kubur. korek punyer korek punyer korek...kakmam dtg. (die nk check aku ok ke tak le tuh...). aku kasik la die cangkul, sbab aku dah sebak smacam. aku g blakang pokok kelapa (tempat kawan2 saddam lepak)...skali aku nanges. aduh. kuat plak tuh. skali kawan2 mak smpy, sbab derang nk g kenduri. kantoi plak aku nanges. before derang bertolak g kenduri, ade sorang neh ckp..."mintak maaf la na, kami tak dan mai kenduri arwah". bleh? aku tgh sedey, die buat lawak. tp aku rs itu lawak yg menjadi. aku malu bukan sebab ape, sbab aku igt derang tak nampak aku nanges blakang pokok kelape kerdil tuh, skali nampak da. betol la, pokok kelapa tuh mmg kerdil.

pertama kali 'bergelar' mama:
bukan mase oleh anak2 sdare aku yg due tuh. haha. tekaan korang tak betol. the first time aku menjadi mama ialah semase aku sedar yg kucing aku mengiau bunyik cam 'mama'. kan die meow2...kan. kdg2 aku dengar cam die panggil aku mama plak. since then, aku membahasakan diri aku sbg mama kat kucing2 aku. wahahaha. gile. nk bt camne, aku mmg bersifat ke'mama'an. then, anak2 sdare aku pon aku bahasekan diri aku mama. bukan nk samekan derang ngan kucing la! saje je la aku senang satu je panggilan. first time mak dengar aku bhskan diri aku mama bile tgh layan kucing2 tuh, mak aku bantai gelak. abang ngan kakak2 aku pon gelak2. tp lepas tuh drang stop. mungkin derang dah sedar yg aku mmg layak bergelar mama. ataupon derang dah tak bleh nk stopkan aku dr menggelarkan diri sendri 'mama'.

pertama kali berjauhan dr family:
mase masuk f1 ah. skali tercampak, nun jauh di jb. haisy. jauh gle. tp aku ttp tergedik2 nk pegi. mak dah ckp jgn...tapi aku nk jugak pegi. skali, minggu first tuh aku nanges nak balek. homesick. ape mak aku ckp, nk tawu? "Ha. arituh mak tak bagi p, nk p jugak. la neh 'ghiau' (nanges) plak nk balek". sbab aku malu sendri, aku pon nanges beramai2 ngan kawan2 aku je. tak brani nk bgtau mak lagi dah. sudahnya 5 taun jugak aku kat sane. hehe. berjaye!

pertama kali menulis:
aku tak sengaje. tules2 cite pasal arwah abah. sbnyanyer itu cerita yg betul la. mmg spontan. i took 30 mins to write that cerpen. pastuh kasik nani bace. mmg aku tules time tuh penuh perasaan. basah bed aku sbab aku nanges. ceh. feel abes. gedik.saje2 anta masuk majalah skola. though i was one of the sidang redaksi, sume cerpen2 kene gak anta kat cikgu nk diapprove kan... mane aci kan klu aku yg tules, aku gak yg approve.bile dah masuk dlm majalah, ckgu anta plak g peraduan citra majalah johor-melaka. and that cerpen won third prize. dpt la seratus. bleh joli. ape la sgt third prize kan. sume tuh tak la penting sangat bagi aku. yg pentingnyer, cerpen tuh pasal abah, and he encouraged me to write. aku tak pandai menulis pon. tapi nk blaja je la. cerpen tak sengaje neh la buat aku siyes nk menulis smpy aku amek tesl. and pak zul pon sokong. time tuh pak zul ajar fizik. (pak zul is a full-time writer now, and aku minat die!)so, now neh aku still pursue impian yg satu neh. thanks pak zul, for your encouragement. and semangat abah yg tak hilang dr diri aku.