Hello!

Just a quick scribble here.

ESAIMEN
ESAIMEN dan
ESAIMEN

sebab sy nk amek PhD, so, kene start blaja untuk memfokuskan diri, as well as learning academic writing dengan berwibawa. isk. untuk budak disruptive plus ADD mcm aku, mmg susah. tapi xpe, aku mmg siyes nk amek PhD. oleh itu, kene berusaha dengan bersunggung2 from degree lagi. mari kwn2...

i promised myself if i am being good as in makesure cukup rest, makan and plain water....i will go shopping after submit esaimen nnt. but hey, itu nnt. skarang neh, priority is to assignment.

not gonna give up

being in unfair situation will probably upsets us, especially feeling victimized. only the way we react can make the difference. if one react on the spot, the result may be not the way one wants because taking action when you're mad means you cant think correctly. me? i choose to keep it to myself for a short time till i feel better. i know myself. at least i am aware that i am emotional type of person, and i am quick tempered. therefore, after a while, i choose to confront the person. its better than keeping to yourself forever and merajuk tak tentu pasal. i am seriously upset, but i am not giving up. i will earn my respect. i am not gonna jeopardize my love for this thing, because of one person not being fair to me. because others have nothing to do with this, so they are not to be blamed.
i choose to proceed and im gonna prove this. simply because YOU ARE NOT BEING FAIR!
if i continue to protest, i am violating my belief. all this while i believe in if you give commitment, you will get it. you want something, work for it. if i choose to sulk, i am putting myself at risk because of emotional thing. so btpe kan. i did it once, when Cik Yan doesnt believe that i can make it to final hurdle. i worked for that, and i get silver. i proved it anyway. i want to gain something, not losing a thing. giving up? its just not me.

(feel like walking out and slamming the door, but i choose to close the door quietly, smiling sweetly before i left).

CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART

Memories of a childhood sweetheart, inbedded deep
Memories I know, I will always keep
In waking hours, and when I sleep
Memories of him always manages to creep.

Many the years that so quickly past
Still childhood memories continue to last
All those good old days, life was a blast
But time slips by much too fast.

Many times in my dream I can see
Standing there smiling sweetly at me
The childhood sweetheart I thought would be
My lover for life, my one and only.

A childhood sweetheart who can no longer share
A part of my life, yet I wonder does he still care
Today I'll say a very special prayer
For my childhood sweetheart somewhere out there.

Memories of a childhood sweetheart is making me blue
I wish I could live it again, how about you?

taken from: Norma Jean Duncan

finally, i manage to say what i mean. fuh~

post yg semakin merepek

to be honest, i dont really like the way i post lately. takde reason. so, forgive me for late update or anything. i will only post something better next time. heh. asek post2 pendek yg merepek2 camneh...tak best la. (personal view). till next post.

Wahai December

December dah menjelang....tolong2!!!

IT Assignment
Keja Royal Mail
Primary Written
TEYL Microteaching

Klise? Typical??

When Kak Melia talked about teenager are at a stage where they are still looking for their own identity....i wonder. years gone by...i though i understood that, but i know i didnt yet.

yesterday, went to Stuart Gold's class...i put on my usual jeans, my Adidas sweater, and my jersey? did i wear jersey. ntah. lupe. i know that i am very comfortable in that thing. it is just my thing. jeans, jersey or tshirt, sport shoes and adidas. i know i always go for sporty thing, but lately i forgot who i am. i mean, why do i have to go and be someone that is not me? why do i need to follow since i hate to follow. for me, yeah...lantakla nk kuar fesyen ape pon, i am wearing what i want to wear. yeah, all those pegged trousers, wide leg jeans...i think its nice. i admit its nice and trendy. up to that point only. it is not that i dont wanna wear it or something but i hate to be typical. just not me. i listened to all those jiwang melody since primary school, and i listen to it until now. Saddam once fall asleep listening to my buble, but i stay wide awake listening to that. and i got bubbly too. i am more to Nike and Adidas sort of person. well, hey...dont get me wrong. i wear Animal and i survey Zara and Monsoon too. ill buy skirt once in a while.

Most people will shop with their salary, but i think now its time for me to be wiser. i am a spendthrift. until now, i am very good at spending (most of us are). however, i think it is a good time for me to really decide on what i want, and really pursue it. dont mind if i am seen as a black sheep, every one is a black sheep anyway, in their own way. i see myself, as a person doing master before reaching 30, and on my way to completing PhD a decade after that, (i give myself time until i am 45). i want to start finding ways to financial stability. economic recession really push you to the limit. you never know you can save like this if its not because of recession.

well, once you walk into a shop, suddenly you need everything. sudenly everything is so cheap, that you can afford it, not knowing youll be in debt, or 'kering' when you get home. heh. normal...that is perfectly normal.

so, this is what i think Kak Melia means, that when one found herself, she is comfortable in what she is, regardless of what is going on around. it wont influence her that much since she knows where she stands.

owh..btw, need to finish my present list. but assignment is around the corner.
omg. dah asar!!!

hampeh la!

i am amazed at people who can bare their true self and let it show, regardless of what people say. me? nope. never. my past is too horrible even to start with. thats is why, i like being here. i am a lone ranger. since skola lagi, i am. i do care about what people say, but i keep it to myself. if i cry, i keep it in. well, some say i cant hide my emotion, though sometimes i tried to hide it...people who knows me well will know just how to interpret it. i am just an open book, coz i am chatty?? chatty ke? isk. pening la plak. dah tatawu nk tules ape. papelah. i dont know myself. maybe one of the things i am quite sure of is, i am comfortable in jersey, sports attire then in skirts or what so eva. not feminine sgt la, but bile im in the mood, aku blasah jgak. suke ati la kan nk bt ape...isk. post neh mmg hampeh. dah. nk g bace cerite fairy tales. pastuh nk tido. kan itu bedtime stories....