checklist

prob:
1. academic: grammar, academic writing, referencing and study skill, collocation, transition signals
2. behavior: disruptive, off-task,short attention span
3. self: prioritizing, spending

solution
1. self-check, reflect, practice writing,citing,READ MORE..
2. seat in front, clear view, fulfill maslow's hierarchy of need..(haha), jot down notes, preparation
3. reminder, differentiate needs and desire, take time to decide.

conclusion, though these problems are suffocating me, i am looking forward to improve myself. thanks for helpful friends around me, they keeps me sane.hahaha.. gudlak le ye, to semua..untuk mengstrugglekan diri bt esamen. believe in yourself! muah2..

tak nak!

saye taknak give up, even though everything seems hard at times
saye tak nak say no, to things that might seem very challenging
i refuse to stop trying, kalau pon i feel suffocated.

"esaimen, penat keje, klas, rindu"

i deny the loneliness, though my heart aches
coz i have lovely friends all around

i deny to admit that my family is far from me
coz i keep em locked in m heart

just keep swimming, be positive..
serahkan kepada Allah,
semoga segalanya dipermudahkan
Amin.

my little saddam, who is not so little anymore

there was once when we used to watch lion king. those were the days with tapes, not cds. and that part where the baboon angkat singe tuh (need to check on its name).. i think saddam was very moved by that act, and he performed it to our kucing, miki. he did the same to miki. angkat tinggi2 (kinda annoucing it to the world). but then the next act was 'rejam' miki dlm air. kantoi ngan mak plak tuh.. abes miki sejuk. sian miki. heh. yeah, he was so little,cute aje. there are a few other incidents that i can still remember but i havent got much time lately. i will write again bout that. let me put it in point so next tym i will remember.
1. saddam with good sentence structure.
2. saddam bawak itik berenang dlm kolah.

haih..saddam..saddam.. dilah mish you lah. blaja bebaek. nnt aku blanja.

occupied

i realize that sometimes i overthink (before this, i think too much).i read somewhere that mental exhaustion leads to physical exhaustion too.
and now i am too tired for everything..thanks for this 4 days break, i am currently spending my time enjoying myself and catch some sleep, trying to relax a bit. i hope once im back in plymouth, ill be ready to start again, fresh and energetic.

mood: relax and content. always positive. hihi..muah!

Saudara

seandainya kau tangisi kematianku
dan kau sirami pusaraku dengan air matamu
maka di atas tulang-tulangku yang hancur luluh
nyalakanlah obor buat umat ini
teruskanlah perjalanan ke gerbang jaya

Kematianku adalah suatu perjalanan mendapatkan kekasih
yang sedang merinduiku
bahagialah hidupku di alam syurga
biarlah rohku terbang mendapatkan rindunya
janganlah gentar berkelana di alam abadi
nun di sana fajar memancar...

bile budak lelaki nanges..

watching this video reminds me of myself mase f1 dulu. i cant remember exactly what made me cry, but i remember there was this one show kat dlm mufaz. pasal ape ntah. and it really touch my heart and i cried my heart out at that time. tmbah2 time tuh gelap, sbab mase tutup lampu mase isyak, so takdela malu nak nanges. owang bukan nmpak. hurm..bile bukak lampu aje, kantoi masing2 nanges. oh ya, the show was bout parents or something about family la. kan br f1, homesick masih menebal.
mase berlalu. if there is anything that moved me, or touched my heart in anyway, i will refuse to cry. i will try my best not to show my emotion. i will remain 'cool'. i was too ego to admit anything. i was too ego to cry. to cry means to loose.
maintenant..in this foreign country, i realized so many things. i started to listen to nasyid again, (i listen to nasyid before, but i hate to admit that i listen to it..). i used to wonder, apsal my seniors yg balek uk, jadik baek. i mean, bukanla tak boleh. tp yelah kan..once u kat oversea, u get to do anything u want. mmg free abes. and yet, bile free gile mcm neh, alhamdulillah, Allah bg petunjuk. now i know the reason for my question. here in uk, where i dont have families around..these people surrounding me take good care of me. everyone become close. i like this ukhwah. rase slamat. ntah, i feel sronok to open up to them. i feel..ntah. i wish i know how to describe my feelings.
it is in this foreign country, where i need to stand up on my own 100 percent, that i learn to reflect my actions, to forgive myself. this is the foreign land where i learn to let go, to accept the fate, and to submit myself.though i found answers to some of my questions, i know i will always have em. and it is sifat manusie:pelupa. kne slalu diingatkan. and im glad, one by one of us.. started to change for the better. alhamdulillah.
smoge setiap kesedaran yg dapat kat sini will remain. Amin.

how do i tell him?

how do i tell my little brother
that the future is not what we always want it to be
how do i make him understand
that a wise people build their bright tomorrow
starting from today

how can i make him see
that i wish to go back in time and fix it,
add in some colour and clean the dirt
how can i help him to paint his next day
with rainbow and serenity
for i am not able to see my path clear
not yet

how do i make him see
that i care about him so much
and i hope the best for him

how can i make him understand
and make the most of his time today?

dedicated to:
muhammad jufri aminuddeen atan
(love you, saddam)